So here is something you may have never heard, but believe it or not there is such a thing as loving someone who is not right for you. I am not talking about some hot attraction to a “bad boy”. This is the kind of love where you can’t live without them, but you really can’t live with them either.
Before this relationship, I always believed that loving someone meant that they would be perfect for you. I mean, after all they are your other half, right? However, my experience with love has taught me harshly, and it has made it frightfully clear that love,and character are two separate factors.
‘Character’ is the way the person thinks, acts, believes, etc. on a conscious level. This part is controlled by your life experiences, education, and to some extent, YOU. ‘Love’, on the other hand, is the bond on a subconscious level, and something we cannot control.
Everyday these two factors make themselves frightfully clear to me. Subconsciously, my heart continues to Love and yearn for my ex. Sometimes tears or sadness just come out of no where. However, on a conscious level, I function. I breathe, I learn, I grow, I change.
My relationship was doomed from the start, and as I look back, I am left mesmerized by how “different” this love story is from what is known. There is no doubt in my mind we loved each other despite our ending. It is sort of true how they say, your true love will be like your other half. However, my experience was not so literal. When we were together, wether it be on the phone or in person, it was such a strange feeling of “oneness”. It allows you to open up like never before, because, it feels like they are part of you anyway. Everything is different from that moment on. You cry deeper, you feel harder, and in many ways change forever.
However, as “people” who have vastly different upbringings, beliefs, morals, etc. it was a constant battle. We constantly fought, and lacked the ability to “get a long”. A combination so volatile and in many ways so “childish” it was destined to break.
I cannot speak on the behalf of my ex, but as far as me, the love has not broken in anyway. I still feel my heart is somehow melded into his, and as creepy as it may seem it “feels” as though he is always with me. However, when I think about “what if we got back together”, I don’t have a clue on how that would even work. Perhaps, if he grew up a bit, and stopped smoking his brains out, stopped partying and got his priorities straight, we would have a chance. However, I would still dislike his family and friends, and that in itself is a relationship breaker. Perhaps if I also matured a bit and worked on my own insecurities there would be a slight window of possibility, for a “lifetime” together.
The important thing to remember is, relationships are like partnerships. You need team work, trust, responsibility, morality, and mutual respect if you want a “life” together. All your bad habits, and disrespectful behaviors need to be worked on, or else living together becomes unbearable. These factors are a MUST for ANY relationship to work. LOVE on the other hand is completely different. Love will always exist, despite anything. The relationship might be over but it is for certain they will live forever in your heart.