One of the worst things about break ups are the immediate loss of your past and dreams of the future. All you are really left with is NOW. Your past is a cluster of haunting memories, that burn as deep as the love you carry. Your future that you imagined, is also, no longer of any relevance and it is traumatizing. In order to cope with this, I have lately realized, I live completely for the Now. Which in many ways is an extraordinary gift.
It was not a cognitive decision of mine to change my life and to live simply in the present. It was a reaction to my inability to deal with the burden of remembering memories of a person that no longer existed. The only way to productively function, was to bleach my mind clean. There are no limitations on “who I am”. Any previous attachments or stereotypes I gave myself, I no longer think about. I am in the process of discovery. Perhaps some of you will think it is simply a life of denial. However, consider the freedom one has, when you have no stereotypes of what you are. Ever since we were kids, we get labeled as a certain type. This label limits you from trying new things, and risking new experiences. For my whole life, I was a violinist. I hung around musicians, I went to music school, and this was my small universe. Everyone somehow knows everyone, and your future is somewhat set in stone from a young age. This was my identity, and when your identity is so solid, your life is laid out in brick work that simply need to be completed. Shaken up as I was, it has given me a new look on “who I am”. It turns out, limiting your social circle, is one of the worst things you could do. Living for the now, has taught me to be free. Don’t let your past define who you are today, tomorrow, or whenever. YOU are an ever changing being, and should never be confined to a belief created by your past.