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Lessons Learned from Heartbreak

Hi guys. I’m sorry I didn’t blog yesterday, I was sure I could make it at least one week without breaking my promise but yesterday I had a breakdown.  

To be honest with you, break downs are something I have gotten use to. Don’t get me wrong, I am doing much better than 6 months ago, but my heart is still broken. On my good days I feel like, my life is great. On my okay days, I feel lonely, but I still see a clear vision of my future. On my bad days/breakdowns, I feel like all my other days are just one big fake lie.

So lets talk about the breakdowns. In the past they would get me really down, because I didn’t know what was happening to me. I would be getting better, and then out of no where it would hit. Yesterday, it happened after my fight with my mom. I just felt so alone, and one tear led to more and more. I started to miss my ex, and all my old feelings started to flood back. I have done so well these days, moving forward, and embracing my new future. However, it also means I am heavily in denial of my past. I have to, if I think about anything related to my ex, it cripples me. 

The good news is, now a days I know my breakdowns will end if I have a good cry and fall asleep. In the past I feared I would never be cured and I would always remain broken. It doesn’t discourage me anymore. I have sort of just accepted it into my life. It doesn’t actually happen as often, or last as long. I know it is just something my body needs to do to release the stress that bottles up. I actually have some of the best night’s sleep after I have a good cry. 

Take care. xx

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