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Lessons Learned from Heartbreak

Falling in love is easy. Breaking up is not. I have spent countless hours talking to friends, reading articles online, books, poems, and philosophers, all trying to figure out what happened. Was it even love?

I guess the most important question to me was, did he “really” ever love me? I mean, according to friends, or society, if someone loves you they would never hurt you. They would never leave you when times get tough. They accept all of you, openly, and encourage you to be the best you can be. If thats true, for sure he did not love me. 

The fact is trust your gut. Nobody has to do or be a checklist of things to be loved. Therefore, “love” also has no list of requirements to be justified as love. Don’t let anyone persuade you from what you believe. People are far more complex, and predicting how someone would behave under love is ignorance. Trust your heart, and have strength to believe it was love, even if it has ended.

Society has this fixed idea, if love is real it will last forever. My defense is, if two people stay physically together, as a couple, then is it always love? Yes, there are those couples that are so cosmically, spiritually, morally perfect that they can coexist forever, but what about those who have connected souls but extremely different life styles.

This was my case. We had a bond like nothing I had ever known. We were like two magnets, and I always felt connected to him. Even now, thousands of miles away, I still feel connected. When we met for the first time, being both extremely shy people, we somehow immediately connected and opened up about personal details. Regardless of our powerful bond, we were as opposite as can be. I am extremely spiritual. He is atheist. I like to stay home and have a nice tea with my favorite fluffy blanket. He likes to go out till wee hours in the morning, drink, party with questionable artsy folk, and be free. There is no way, a “forever” existed for us. It is like my favorite quote from the movie, “Ever After”. “A bird can love a fish but where would they live?”

This is exactly what happened. We loved each other, and I know I will love him forever, but there is no way we could live together. We met and loved for a reason but it was not meant for a life together. This type of love exists. There are million types of love. Who’s to say what kind of love is real but you?