Perhaps the hardest part of any break up is the no contact rule. Unfortunately, the one person you need the most to get you through this, is the same person you cannot turn to for help. How do you cope and get through this rough time? Here are some helpful ways to get you through the temptation and urges.
Step 1. Delete his number. If you can’t because you are not ready or you have it memorized, then change his name to a catch phrase. For example, “Do Not Call”, “SToP”, “U will Regret” or my personal favorite “naggingmom”. Nagging mom? Yes. This reminds you of how you feel when your mom nags you to do something, over, and over again, and how annoying that feels. It reminds you to NOT Call.
Step 2. Create a 911 list. Get a piece of paper and write 911, and list at least 3 people you can contact when you have the urge to call your ex. Put this list near your phone at all times. If they all do not answer, start calling random people in your phone book. Anyone but you know who.
Step 3. Every call or text pushes your ex further away. Remember, if you hope your ex to come back someday, the worst thing to do is to contact them. If your hope is to never talk again and for them to run when they see you, keep on stalking, it will work.
Step 4. Break the schedule. We all have an inner time clock, and usually the moments you have the urge to call is predictable. Did you guys talk usually before you sleep, or wakeup? Take note of this pattern, and when you are most likely start missing him and breaking down the most. For most people it is the night time. Take this knowledge and prepare, add running to your morning routine, so you can sleep easier at night. If you usually spoke with your ex at a specific hour, fill that moment with something else.
Step 5. Do not hang out with your Phone. Usually when you are alone, and not at work or school, that is the moment you urge to call. Why not switch it off when you are alone. Sometimes the hardest thing, is to deal with the fact that they do not call you. You don’t want to be forgotten. Turning it off gives you the power, and stops the craziness of hoping every time your phone rings its your ex.
Step 6. Missing you. The heart grows fonder with space. If you are meant to be together, over time you will be missed. Everyone likes to be loved, if you disappear suddenly, they will be surprised.
Step 7. Take it Day by day. Tally mark the days you successfully don’t call, and reward yourself with something you desire every 30 marks.
Step 8. Change of environment. Switch up your bedroom. Maybe get brighter colored bed sheets, some soft candles that smell nice, and collect all things attached to your ex and bag them up. Trust me, these items do not help you now.
Step 9. Face your fears Alone. If you are scared of something whether it be illness, school exam, or anything else you would normally do together. It is normal to fear facing these things alone now, but I promise you, if you just take a chance you will realize this is the first step to regaining your confidence. You will realize you Can do it, and you do not Need this person.
Step 10. Nothing is forever. Don’t torture yourself with the idea you can never talk to them again. Just focus on Now. Right now it will not help you in anyway.