We have all been screwed over. When it comes from someone you love, the wound is far deeper, and the natural response is to Hate. They did this to you, they deserved to be punished. Why would you possibly continue to respect someone who betrayed and hurt you?
The answer is, respecting all things despite any circumstances is for the development of your own character. It is natural to fight, when you have been hurt. After all we are animalistic by nature. However, if you want to reach another level of “compassion and understanding”, you have to fight those animalistic urges. Don’t hate, Don’t gossip, Don’t let anger consume you. Just because they wronged you does not mean you can also have bad behavior.
Ask yourself, was your love unconditional love, or love that required love back? Do you stop seeing their good qualities because they no longer love you? Is it okay to disregard their wishes for space, because they hurt you? Focusing only on your emotions is selfish and bad behavior. Justifying your bad behavior because your ex did it first is childish, and justifies nothing. Do not let their bad behavior ruin who you are. Your reaction is your character, and your responsibility. This is something you choose to Be. Your respect and kindness for people, should not change by who you believe deserves it.
I am by no means a perfect human being, and I have made my fair share of mistakes. However, I have decided this is something I really want to work on. Every once in awhile, usually when I am in pain, I have this urge to send my ex a hurtful email. What works for me is, I tell myself, “You are just in pain, you know you don’t mean it, and you just want his attention.” For me, this really works, because this is the honest truth. Now I am able to wish him everyday, a happy life. (Okay, almost everyday..;) im not perfect )